I have always been a wanderer, barely grounded and unconfined… and I don’t mind that. Not only do I not mind that, but I have come to love that about me. Because my wandering heart has brought me to many people, places, and situations that have inspired me, touched me, broken me, and rebuilt me. My wandering heart has broadened my horizons in thought, emotion, and dreaming in ways that I couldn’t have intentionally imagined if I tried. It has has filled my soul with beauty, amazement, awe, and love to the point that I can no longer hold it in, so now I overflow these things and share them openly with anyone that cares to receive them. I can no longer contain my spirit, nor do I want to.
Because what I once thought to be strange and doubted would ever be understood or valued is now my most coveted piece of my me. My desire to know the world more- to really feel it and learn to understand it, to be open to meeting strangers and unattached with saying goodbye, all while holding onto gratitude for the part that they played in my journey- comes from a place of deep, unrestrained love… a love for life, for others, and for myself. And while that may seem dangerous to some, to live with a heart so wide open for all to see and even feel, I know that it is also an adventure and opportunity. Giving and receiving love in abundance simply cannot happen with the dam walls in place.
I do not fear that danger, that flood, anymore because I see that it is not pain, nor failure, nor rejection, nor uncertainty that I have to fear… it is living a life in fear of living my life that I should be afraid of. And I do not fear the falls of my journey, as I have learned to create a dance with them. I no longer fear feeling the pain of rejection because I welcome the excitement of exploring a new and unexpected path. My wandering heart used to instill fear in me- fear because I could see that I was different and didn’t know how I would ever blend in with the world around me, fear that I might not ever truly be understood, and fear that I may be dreaming too big and, therefore, might fail in what I pursue. But thankfully, my wandering heart has kept beating, and despite my best intentional efforts to ignore it, my feet knew to follow. And now I know that I was meant to dance all along.
That rhythm inside of me has been calling me out to the dance floor ever since the time of my birth and I now realize that there is nothing that fills me with joy more than when I’m stomping my feet down and waving my hands high, because man, oh man… this wanderer’s heart knows the best damn songs. This isn’t wanderlust, this is wanderlove. ❤